“So when are you going to try for baby number 2?” “Are you ready for another one?!” All I can do is shake my head, at just six months postpartum. For the average woman, it would still be very soon to even consider this! But as most of you know, or should know, I am not the average woman. When people ask me this, I think one of two things. It is either they don’t read my blogs, and in that case, you stink! Or you don’t know us very well, and in THAT case, you probably aren’t close enough to us to be asking that sort of question anyway!
I know that title was totally click bait and I apologize 😂 I am going to address again that I know those types of questions seem harmless but they have the potential to be harmful, even if it is unintentional. It’s easy for anyone to forget the struggle we went through to conceive Peyton. Hell, we forget sometimes too! When I go through her clothes that she grows out of I think to myself, “I’ll save this outfit for the next one… oh wait… if there is a next one”. Sometimes it’s “next time I WON’T wait so long to introduce a bottle because this is absolutely exhausting… oh wait… if there is a next time”. So many people have said to us “I bet it’ll happen naturally next time!”. Which sounds like a nice, hopeful thing to say… but to be honest that stings a little too.
We hope for a natural miracle one day, of course! Maybe we won’t have to go through any treatments. Maybe we don’t have to spend thousands of dollars… or maybe we will. It took us 15 cycles of trying including the two treatment cycles to conceive Peyton. We don’t anticipate having an easier time if we decide to try for another. We are so very thankful for the little miracle baby we have now! At times, it is hard for me to imagine not going through pregnancy ever again or not cuddling a little newborn ever again. I love being a mommy so those pills are hard to swallow. There are times when Aaron and I think to ourselves, why do we have to struggle? We have a stable, happy home that any child would be thrilled to grow up in! Aaron likes to believe there is a reason for everything. I’m a bit more pessimistic than he is. To me, sometimes life just isn’t fair. It is what it is. Then we remember how blessed we are to have been successful. Some people never get to have a baby. Then I feel guilty for even feeling that way at all! Isn’t human emotion a funny thing?
Infertility is a life changing journey. You come out of it a completely different person. There is a whole new appreciation for pregnancy, motherhood, and the beauty of life. No one could ever understand unless they actually go through it themselves, which I wouldn’t wish upon anyone. I try my best to educate people on it. We need a little more understanding. We need a little more empathy and compassion for others. A lot of people don’t understand the magnitude of stress and sadness that comes with infertility. If I am able to enlighten just one person to these things, I think I’ve done my part. Chances are, you know someone that struggles with infertility. 1 in 8 couples have difficulties getting pregnant. We are (still) 1 in 8.