The title says it all. It has been one of the most stressful weeks of our lives. This will probably be super long because obviously a lot went on. I’ll try to make a very long story a little shorter.
It all started with my 31 week appointment on Friday. Everything was normal as usual. My midwife measured my fundal height. (This is the measurement from the top of your pubic bone to the top of your uterus). It is measured by centimeters. It typically corresponds to how many weeks you are plus or minus 2-3 cms. So if you are 31 weeks, you could measure 28-34 cms. I was measuring 3 centimeters small at this appointment and at the last one, which wasn’t a huge cause for concern for my midwife. Since I am measuring on the smaller side and I showed some worry, she consulted with one of the doctors and suggested a growth scan just to make sure they don’t miss any growth restriction issues. She was confident that since Peyton grew the amount she should have since the last appointment that she is just an itty bitty baby coming from an itty bitty mommy. Of course, I was completely upset and stressed because I don’t do well with these things. I also had to wait until Monday for the scan (fml). But we will get back to this after I cover the weekend.
That night, Aaron took me to Tutti Frutti to get our minds off of worrying. On our way back to the car I got a pretty uncomfortable contraction. I’ve had Braxton Hicks for weeks so I wasn’t too concerned but I stopped in my tracks. Once we got home they didn’t seem to be stopping. I tried taking a shower, changing positions, hydrating myself, the works. Usually those things stop Braxton Hicks contractions but we didn’t see an end in sight. So, it was time to get to labor and delivery for some monitoring. Sure enough, I was contracting. They put me on IV fluids because sometimes that is all it takes and it helped a LITTLE bit but not much. They wanted me to take an injection to stop the contractions. I really didn’t want to, because it could raise my heart rate along with the babies and I already have issues with heart palpitations, so I was hesitant about it. I was confident that I could stop these somehow on my own. The nurse tried checking my cervix, which was absolutely horrible, because she couldn’t “find it” and it was extremely painful when it really didn’t need to be. They also did a swab test called “fetal fibronectin”. It tests for a protein inside that is usually there when you will be going into labor soon. Mine came back negative which gives them the idea that I have a VERY unlikely chance of going into actual labor within the next 2 weeks. So, with all of that, I felt confident in my decision to not receive the injection. I slept, the contractions completely stopped, and I was free to go… which was around 9 a.m the next morning.
My baby shower was in 4 hours. After all of that emotional stress and lack of sleep… I had to call my mom and tell her I wasn’t sure if the baby shower was going to be a good idea. It was cancelled. It broke my heart. I have been so excited about it and of course this all happens the night before. MY LUCK. After some rest at home, we decided the show must go on! So, I was able to make it to my baby shower and it was wonderful. My mom and her friend Colleen did such a nice job and I am so thankful. I took it easy and had a great time even though I was BEAT. We got so many wonderful things for Peyton and we were so excited to go through everything when we got home… but we were completely and utterly exhausted. So… we slept 🙂
Everything was pretty quiet until Monday. We had our growth scan done. We found out that Peyton is in the frank breech position as of right now. Which really bummed me out. They don’t typically worry about that until 36 weeks but I feel like she is pretty comfortable there. I’m hoping she turns soon. I was looking at her measurements and while they were off by a week and a half at most, I felt okay about it. Better than 3 weeks off! The tech said she is small but is weighing around 3.3 pounds. We met with the doctor after and we went over her percentiles. She is measuring in the 6th percentile. I was completely caught off guard by this because she just didn’t seem that far off. It seems like the doctors don’t really understand the percentiles fully themselves, but that is what they use. So when a baby is measuring under the 10th percentile, they are classified as “intrauterine growth restriction” or IUGR. The doctor explained that 2 of her measurements were off a little more than others. They aren’t thinking she has true IUGR because my placenta, cord, and amniotic fluid are all perfectly intact. Those things tend to affect the growth of the baby due to lack of nutrients and oxygen. So again, they are really confident that it is just my size. But I have to be treated like everyone else because they can’t just ignore something like that because of my pre-pregnancy weight. I have to go to the doctors twice a week for NST’s (non stress tests) and doppler ultrasounds to check the placenta, cord, and fluid and then growth ultrasounds every 3 weeks for as long as I am pregnant. I am trying to stay positive and I believe she will ace all of her tests. The doctor suggested genetic testing, since we opted out of that earlier on, just to rule that out as well. Again, she is still confident it isn’t anything like that. We are too. She also strongly recommended that I go straight to labor and delivery that day to receive a steroid injection. This helps mature her lungs in the chance that she does decide to come too early… especially with the preterm labor symptoms that I was experiencing. So all of this information completely overwhelmed me and I was a hot mess. But we went home, ate some lunch and went straight to L&D. The shot sucks, not going to lie. Goes right in the behind and the medicine is SO thick and heavy. I had to go back the next day, 24 hours later, to get it again. DREAD.
But then comes Tuesday morning. 6 a.m. rolls around… and so do the contractions. They lasted about 3 hours and were getting painful. Obviously, we can’t catch a break at this point. Off to L&D we go. Hooked up to monitors and IV once again. Sure enough, I’m contracting. I was able to see my midwife which was a relief. The contractions slowed down and she was about to suggest that I go home… until they came back to back to back again. She decides that she wants to do a cervical check. I was already traumatized by Friday nights check so I was nervous. This time it went SO MUCH BETTER. Clearly, it wasn’t supposed to hurt that bad. BUT she says “You are…. 1 cm dilated and 70% effaced”. WHAT. This just tells us that the contractions I have been getting the past few days are progressing my cervix. SO, we stayed. After a strong recommendation by the midwife, I chose to receive the injection to stop the contractions. I felt at this point, with the progression, that the benefits outweighed the risks. They do not take babies at our hospital’s NICU before 32 weeks. Even though I was right on the cusp, it would have been risky. We would have had to be transferred to St. Mary’s. They really weren’t anticipating that but it was a scary thought for us. My midwife felt pretty confident that that wouldn’t be necessary, especially since the fetal fibronectin swab from Friday night came back negative. The injection was successful. While my heart rate shot up, Peyton’s stayed perfectly normal and she was as active and happy as can be in there. Thank goodness. She’s so strong 🙂 I stayed until it was time for the second steroid injection and we were on our way.
At this point, my goal is to stay pregnant as long as I possibly can. All I care about is Peyton’s safety and well being. I know that I have to try not to stress too much, because I don’t want her feeling any of that. It is just SO hard to not worry about all of these things… when this is my BABY. I don’t want to hear any of this stuff. I know I have to stay positive and strong. I also feel, in my heart, that everything will end up being okay. I trust her and my body. I have to. But living with anxiety my whole life… struggling with infertility… and dealing with all of this within a few days time… is truly testing my emotional, physical, and mental limits. I am having a hard time coping with everything. It’s SO much to think about and my mind is all over the place. I really want the birth experience I always dreamed about and I really want to enjoy the rest of this pregnancy and all of this is definitely not helping. I am hoping when all of this is said and done and she is here safe and sound… we will be looking back at this saying “what was the point of all of that stress?”
How far along? 32 weeks
Total weight gain/loss? 19 pounds still =/
Maternity clothes? Yes
Stretch marks? No new ones
Sleep? You could guess.
Best moment this week? Hmm. Knowing that Peyton was going to stay put a while longer.
Miss anything? I think this one should just permanently be a Jimmy John’s sub.
Food cravings? Sweeeeeeets, always.
Anything making you queasy or sick? No
Showing yet? Yes
Gender guesses? No guess! It’s a GIRL! ❤
Belly button in or out? Still in.
Wedding rings on or off? I haven’t been wearing them.
Happy or moody? Stressed.
Looking forward to? Keeping Peyton in for a little while longer!