“Google Queen”

My husband calls me a “google queen”. Why? Because I google EVERYTHING. Whether it’s random facts, news stories, celebrity gossip, and how tos… and I know my husband. Aaron is going to be reading this saying to himself “umm you’re missing one”. Ohhh yeah, googling “why does my elbow itch?”, “headache”, “why am I getting hot flashes when I’m not menopausal yet?”… I MUST BE DYING. Let’s just say the majority of my google searches are health related. You know you’ve done it. Wondering what that pain in your finger is? Google it. Finger cancer! AHHH!

Why do we do this to ourselves? We know exactly what is going to happen. You are going to google some random silly “symptom” and find out you could potentially have a life threatening disease. Thanks, Web MD. Then maybe take it as far as…well…how common is that? … Oh… you don’t take it that far? Oh, okay yeah that is silly… O_o  More often than not, you don’t have anything seriously wrong with you. A few days later it’s on to the next thing and this is where it becomes a problem. Hypochondriac. I don’t do it to the point where I go to the hospital or doctor for every little thing, though some people do!  I do it to the point where it causes me anxiety. I think it stems from a fear of dying young. I have lost a lot of people that were very close to me and I am only 25. That’s the downfall of having a big family. I am afraid of dying before completing a goal. But that never ends. I need to finish college… I need to get engaged… I need to get married… I need to buy a house… I need to travel the world… I need to have children. I need I need I need. Rush rush rush.

That’s no way to live. I’m realizing I don’t “need” to “rush” to do anything. I should just live my life as happily as I can and worry a little less (easier said than done). Other people make you feel that way sometimes though don’t they? “When are you going to college?” “When are you getting married, it’s time!” “When are you having kids?” People are never satisfied. They don’t realize those simple questions put a lot of pressure on people. You can’t sit here and do all these things to shut these people up. Trust me, they’ll always ask about SOMETHING else. Do things because YOU want to do them at the time you want to do it. If I eliminate the feeling of being rushed… maybe I won’t be so anxious to begin with and maybe, just maybe, I’ll stop googling every little thing wrong with me. Maybe.

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